sunshowerdandelion: (book)
[personal profile] sunshowerdandelion
I think my thoughts about writing are ultimately ambivalent. When I have been 'illuminated', as Carson would maybe describe it, I have felt will-less and become a vehicle for my characters. I've often felt exhausted writing about them. Sometimes they are slippery and when they are not they make me write until I am beyond tired.

In my case, I agree with Anita Brookner's Look at Me (Penguin, 1983). Writing is

penance for not being lucky. It is an attempt to reach others and make them love you. It is your instinctive protest, when you find you have no voice at the world's tribunals, and that no one will speak for you.

Though I don't think I am as far as her next sentence ("I would give my entire output of words..." that part makes me shudder, so I won't quote any more), I do agree with the direction. As I am shy and have had to hide things all my life, my writing is exactly as Brookner says.


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