sunshowerdandelion | Day 180.1: Frustrated (Reply)

After three days of circling around the difficulty, I decided to confront my snarl of a scene. I failed utterly. Maybe the plan needs to change, maybe the words have to fit the plan? The chapter feels stillborn, something in it is not kicking. Tomorrow I will have to go and get the delicate devices and dissect it. The lack of rhythm is definitely one. The cut-up feel of the thing, frankensteined together. Rewrite! will probably be the verdict. Replan! Some parts might be salvaged.

What's clear is that over the next few days I'll have to pore over the entrails of both chapters. Tomorrow!

Today was a wash. I'm not exactly sure what happened. I tried to write more systematically, but my brain wasn't having it, and so I got a lot of noise about how my rhythms weren't adding up. It's that fear of screwing up again, and today I just didn't want to deal with it.
I need to pick which of the two drafts I'll continue. I have one that's more jaunty, has cooler parts, but is all over the place (I might confuse the readers), and I have one that's more clunky, but goes at a better pace (this one is the one my brain is saying "This reads like dead words!"). I'm trying to edit both at the same time and of course my brain is not having it.
I read instead.
I also have this weird reluctance to go back on my words. The second draft is the draft I planned out, and my head is going "Surely this is the better draft", but my head is also going "Okay the first one, the jaunty one reads better."