Day 15.3: Reading and Frustration

[sunshowerdandelion]

Sometimes I have periods when I feel my reading is insincere, when it feels like I'm reading rote, out of stale duty.I'm in one of those patches now (but close to the end of it, I feel). When I'm in the middle of those periods I can't see the beauty of writing, mine or any other writer's. I try very hard but that seems to make it worse. I know the correct reaction is not to try so hard, but I can't help it. Sometimes I get scared that I'll never read a beautiful thing again, and that my sweetness is gone. Above all keep sweetness. But I know as Carson knew of Mick: there is something in her and in those like her that cannot and will not ever be destroyed. And so I keep faith.