sunshowerdandelion | 17.01.2026 (1): Packed

Another packed day of going back and forth and attending this or that, and entertaining people, and being told off by people for not being entertaining enough. I'm a bit sad now that my autonomy has to be fought for every step of the way, and I'm trying to be nice while doing it, but gosh. It is a thing to fight for, always. I firmly believe that everyone has the right to solitude - not only privacy but solitude - because without solitude, most personalities fall apart.

I finished Fugitive Pieces and I think I prefer Heard. Definitely a candidate for a reread, but I found Jakob too satiated. I liked Ben a lot more as a viewpoint character and I wish he had twisted the knife further in his critique of Jakob. I do not like books about saintly people, unless their saintliness then gets pulled apart. I felt genuine envy for Jakob's life, and I'm glad Ben did so too, but statements like "I arranged things so I wouldn't have to do my job from June to January" still smack me in the face.

Maybe this is a sign that the "I'm dancing as fast as I can" capitalism has gotten to me. Definitely. Unlike those characters, I have no choice.

I wrote a bit more for my AU today. More rain.