Day 55.1: Planned Scene Struggles!

[sunshowerdandelion]

This is the mark of a good scene I think: when I struggle a lot, and know I'm falling short. My sentences sound hopelessly declarative and flat. Like I want to spell them alive. They should ensorcell, since Seiran in this scene is absolutely enchanted. I think it's a fault of the pacing and the repeated use of the same devices - what those devices are, exactly, I'll have to scrutinize.

I think I'll try for flow here. I want to be neat, not too flashy (since Seiran isn't flashy), but nevertheless convey Seiran's really intense emotional state. She's transfixed. Maybe I should focus on the details and not the generalities, and get the scene going a little.

Anyway today was a fun and challenging writing day, I felt very accomplished fighting with my stuff.